Bear at Milwaukee Zoo Briefly Emerges; Holds Mirror to Society
It’s a little soon, but he just had to...grizz and bear it.
We have all been Bozeman the grizzly bear. In a scant, 62 second video posted by the Milwaukee County Zoo, Bozeman breaks down the human condition more effectively than my entire freshman year philosophy class ever could.
Hibernation is traditionally thought of as one long nap, but there's actually more to it than that. During winter months, animals that hibernate—like our furry friend Bozeman and his grizzly pals at the zoo and in the wild—will slow their breathing, lower their heart rates (in the case of bears, down to as low as four beats per minute!) and conserve as much energy as they can.
But sometimes, they "wake up" for brief periods of time.
Who among us doesn't know the feeling: maybe it's the early morning of garbage day and there's a noise outside. Maybe you went to bed a half an hour early the night before and your body doesn't know what to do with itself. Maybe you had one glass of water too many. Maybe the cat—who, it should be noted, is no dynamo himself—just NEEDS TO BE FED RIGHT NOW.
You crack one eye open and assess the situation. You can tell the sun is up, but it's definitely before your alarm.
Whatever, man. The thing that woke you up isn't going to take care of itself, so you get up bleary-eyed and waddle out into the hallway. Why is it so bright?
Zookeepers say that bears normally end their hibernation periods in mid April or so, but periods of activity through hibernation are not uncommon. Mothers can suckle their young, there can be occasional bathroom breaks and, sometimes, they just want to stretch their legs. The staff at the Milwaukee Zoo shared the oh-so-relatable video of Bozeman to Facebook before he climbed back into what we can only assume is a very cozy den.
15 seconds into the video: Some bears, like some people, love the snow. But Bozeman is not some bears. Bozeman is very much like us sleepy humans. He stops and gives his paw a cursory check and, again, we see ourselves. What is going on here? Why is this wet? I'm not cleaning this up.
30 seconds: By this point, you know you're definitely going back to bed, but you're up for the moment so you might as well check the fridge, get a quick something to drink.
40 seconds: There's nothing in the fridge. You could have sworn you left some takeout in there the other night, but now it's gone. You root around in the back just to make sure, but no. Man. This is bull.
For most of us, getting back to bed after we've woken up early can be difficult. Sometimes you count sheep, or read a little, or watch TikToks. But bears like Bozeman have no such issues. Once he goes back into his den, it'll be right back to the hibernation state for another couple weeks.
55 seconds into the video: This entire trip through the house has only served to illustrate why you should still be in bed. It's early March and your alarm doesn't go off until April. You give the place one last look before going back to bed. I want this wet stuff gone by the time I'm up.