In a cold open for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Champ and Major Biden sit down with Oprah. (OK, not really.)

Finally, we get to hear Major Biden's side of the story. 

President Joe Biden's German shepherd, along with his brother Champ, was temporarily relocated from the White House this week after a "biting incident" with a member of the building's security team. President Biden's press secretary, Jen Psaki, later told reporters Major "was surprised by an unfamiliar person and reacted in a way that resulted in a minor injury to the individual." (A lot of words to say a startled Major bit someone.) 

But in a Wednesday night cold open for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, "Major" sat down with Oprah Winfrey to tell us all what really happened and how he regrets being neutered. In reality, the Late Show folks selectively edited Winfery's excellent interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, replacing Meghan and Harry with two superimposed German shepherds.

Major Biden running on the lawn
Credit: Courtesy of Dr. Jill Biden

Major wasted little time dropping a bombshell: He had been silenced. He's not the real biter in the White House. The security agent is the real perpetrator who bit Major. #JusticeforMajor!

The interview abruptly ends when Champ and Major—again, not really them—run off to chase a wrongdoing mail carrier. 

All joking aside, we'd be remiss to not point you to the expertise of our pet health expert, Haylee Bergeland, CPDT-KA, CBCC-KA, RBT. She mentions that dogs who are thrust into brand-new environments—like, say, the United States' epicenter of government—can get stressed out with all the new things, much like us humans do. 

If "Major's" interview had been longer, he probably would have told Oprah he's not aggressive, but more likely working through a period of adjustment living in his new home with the leader of the free world. CNN also reported that the real Major displayed "agitated" behavior in recent weeks. First Lady Jill Biden said a couple weeks ago she was really focusing on getting Major, age 3, and Champ, the elder statesman of 13, settled into their new space.

"It's important that we do our best to understand the context in which our dogs find themselves before we just label any behavior," Bergeland said earlier this week. "Normal dog behaviors that occur when a dog feels very stressed, nervous, or fearful can look scary when you don't understand the context in which they happen. These behaviors don't say anything about the dog."

Anyway, the two good boys are back at the Biden's home in Delaware, where they often go when the first lady is away from the White House, which was the case this week. They'll be back to the White House soon.